Welcome to the RJ Transformations Blog

A Helpful Hand

The last few months have been tough. I had to undergo emergency spinal surgery and, while the operation itself was a success, the recovery has been so much harder than I ever expected.

Not because of the pain.

Not because of the symptoms.

But because of the patience it demanded.

My surgery was serious, really serious. When I was discharged, I left with strict restrictions to protect my spine while it healed and clear instructions to take things slowly.

And I meant to. Truly. I felt so much better so quickly that I became determined to "get back to normal" as fast as possible. I followed the rules… mostly. But I was also absolutely convinced that I knew exactly how to pace myself.

Spoiler: I didn't.

I pushed too hard, too fast. And in doing so, I set myself back by several weeks....and endured far more pain than was necessary.

But I learned. I paused. I refocused.

And now, as I begin my return to fitness again, I'm doing it with support. Someone helps me stay accountable, celebrate progress, push when I can, but also reminds me to listen to my body and respect what it needs.

Sometimes we all need that person in our corner. Someone who sees what we can't, who offers perspective, who encourages us when we're tired; who reminds us to rest before we burn out.

If you're on your own recovery, growth, or fitness journey and you think you might need that kind of support… Drop me a message. Let's see if I can be that person for you.

Strings to Your Bow

A friend of mine recently attended a training course and was unexpectedly approached by the trainer, who asked if he'd ever considered training to deliver this course, and other options in the curriculum, himself.

He's incredibly competent in his role and always keeps his own skills sharp, so the offer didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was his hesitation.

It wasn't a confidence issue at all. As an American, he has that very stereotypical, unwavering faith in his own abilities. His hesitation came from something else entirely: he genuinely couldn't see the benefits. After doing his job successfully for many years, he felt there was no point in diversifying.

We talked about it.....and although I really do try not to coach my friends, sometimes I can't help myself. Before I knew it, I was back in my familiar rhythm of open‑ended questions and gentle nudges toward critical thinking.

One question seemed to land more deeply than the others:

"What's the downside?"

He paused. He genuinely couldn't think of a single reason not to explore this new path. And honestly, I'm excited to see what he discovers along the way. I've always believed that having multiple strings to your bow is never a bad thing.

So what question might I ask you that finds your new string?

Let's Talk About Menopause

As someone who coaches women in midlife, I can tell you this is a topic we simply can't ignore. Thankfully, it's finally getting the attention it deserves. People are talking about it openly, and it's being recognized as a stage that can feel challenging...but also incredibly important...in a woman's life.

We all know there's a whole list of symptoms linked to perimenopause, and there's plenty of information out there. If you, or someone you care about, is struggling with symptoms, please don't wait. Book an appointment with your doctor and make sure you're heard. There are so many options that can make a real difference.

But here's something I've been thinking about… Are we in danger of using menopause or perimenopause as the reason for everything that feels hard right now? The truth is, life is complicated. There are countless reasons why we might feel like we're just surviving instead of thriving. That's why it's so important to look at ourselves as whole people, not just through the lens of hormones.

Midlife is full of challenges, yes...but it's also full of opportunities. We have wisdom, experience, and perspective that can help us move forward. The tricky part? Often, we don't have the support we need. Add in competing priorities and the weight of expectations, and it's no wonder we feel stretched thin.

Here's the good news... We also have strength. We have courage. And we have the attitude to make things happen anyway. This stage of life isn't just about coping....it's about creating the life you want, even when it feels tough.

If any of this resonates with you, and you'd like someone in your corner to help you navigate this stage with confidence, I'd love to support you. Reach out to me for a chat, no pressure, just a conversation about what's possible for you.

What's in a Name?

A previous blog prompted someone to ask where my brand name came from. Honestly, I was first flattered that someone read my blog....and then had to dig back into my notes to remember!

The first part is obvious: it's me. My name, my business, my pride and joy. I'm deeply passionate about coaching and proud of the work I do, so it was always going to carry my name.

The word Transformations came later, inspired by a quote from Vikram "Vik" Kapoor:

"Coaching is the catalyst for transformation."

That line resonated with me because it captures what I believe: great coaching sparks a fundamental shift in mindset. That mindset shift drives new habits, and those habits change your trajectory.

So, if you're thinking about making a change, whether big or small, come and have a chat with me. Just don't be surprised when you discover that when we add the right mix of support, challenge and cheerleading to your determination, you're capable of amazing things. Drop me a line.

What's Wrong with Pleasing People?

On the surface, wanting to make people happy sounds like a wonderful trait, doesn't it? It feels good to bring joy to those you love, to keep your boss satisfied, even to make a stranger smile.

But here's the catch: it's great...until it's not. Until making them happy makes you unhappy. Until meeting their needs means neglecting your own. Until you say "yes" only because you never say "no."

That's when you cross the line from pleasing people to being a people pleaser. It's a subtle shift in language, but a significant shift in attitude.

We people please for many reasons. Sometimes it's because we struggle with boundaries. Sometimes it's because we fear conflict. And often, it's because we crave external validation. But here's the truth: if you're sacrificing your own needs to prioritise someone else's, you owe it to yourself to ask why and to consider the damage it might be causing you.

I've worked with clients who want to stop being people pleasers and let me tell you it's tough. It takes bravery to face uncomfortable truths, candor to admit what's really going on, and self-awareness to recognize the patterns.

But here's the good news: it's worth it. When you stop living for others' approval, you start living for yourself and that's where real happiness begins.

Freudenfreude: The Joy of Celebrating Others

I hadn't come across the term Freudenfreude until I read Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart and it really resonated with me. As a coach, it felt like a word I'd been waiting for. It's the opposite of Schadenfreude, and it means "taking genuine joy in someone else's success."

If I'd discovered it earlier, I might have woven it into my coaching brand—it captures one of the most fulfilling aspects of this work: witnessing transformation, celebrating breakthroughs, and being moved by someone else's triumph. (Regret, by the way, is another emotion Brené explores with such grace 😊.)

Even outside the coaching world, Freudenfreude is a joyful concept. To truly rejoice in someone else's win, without comparison or envy, is the kind of emotional generosity we would all like to give. And yes, sometimes envy sneaks in. But maybe that flicker of longing is a signal: a nudge to pursue our own dreams, to stop waiting, and to finally take that leap we've been talking about for far too long.

So here's a thought: if you want someone you love to feel a little Freudenfreude for you…

✨ What's the success story you want to be telling?

Meeting Your Coach for the First Time? It's a Bit Like a First Date…

Let's be honest—meeting a potential coach for the first time can feel a little like a first date. There's a touch of nervous energy on both sides (yes, even the coach!), you're getting to know someone new, and you're wondering if this could be the start of a productive relationship.

But that's where the similarities end.

Because unlike a date, I'm not here to convince you I'm your long-term partner. My role as a coach is to equip you with the tools, techniques, and, most importantly, the confidence to become your own coach. If you feel you need to rely on me forever, then I haven't done my job properly.

I'm always thrilled when clients stay in touch. Hearing how they're thriving and achieving on their own terms—that's the best part of what I do.

And when they recommend me to others? That's the highest compliment I could receive. It's also a pretty great business model, if I do say so myself!

So, if you're looking for a coach who's genuinely invested in helping you not need a coach… drop me a line.

The Best Time to Plant a Tree

"The best time to plant a tree was three years ago. The second-best time is today."

I love this quote—it's my antidote to procrastination.

Today, I spoke with a friend I deeply respect. He admitted he felt a little envious that I'd "gone after it" and launched my business.

He's been dreaming of something similar for a while. We're both coaches, though in very different spaces. But he keeps putting it off.

When I asked why, he had plenty of words. But he's wise enough to know it's really his imposter syndrome talking. No good reasons—just very good excuses.

I can't coach him. He's a friend, and that boundary matters.

But if this sounds familiar to you… I can coach you. Let's plant your tree. 🌱

Get in touch.